Jobs
Opportunities. Openings. Openings that closed months ago. New ones every time you refresh.
A
Founding Cringe Mitigation Ninja
Anchor Industries · Austin, TX
A working knowledge of at least 4 buzzwords not yet invented is a plus.
A
Global Head of Buzzword Compliance Consultant
Anchor Labs · Onsite, in a converted warehouse with no windows
Must be willing to wear many hats, none of which come with a raise.
O
Head of Growth (Cold Outreach Division)
OutboundOrDie · Toronto, ON
Send a minimum of 3,000 emails daily. Getting reported as spam is a KPI, not a failure. A/B testing subject lines until nobody trusts you is encouraged.
R
Talent Acquisition Ninja Rockstar Guru
RecruitBlast Global · Remote
Send high volume outreach for positions that closed months ago. Thick skin required. Ghosting tolerance a must.
N
Fractional Chief Everything Officer
NoCodeUnicorn · Remote
Wear every hat simultaneously. Must be comfortable saying 'proprietary' about a template. No code experience required, in fact preferred.
N
Executive Engagement Optimization Lead
Northwind Holdings · Onsite, in a converted warehouse with no windows
Experience herding cats preferred. Experience herding stakeholders required. A working knowledge of at least 4 buzzwords not yet invented is a plus.
A
VP of Win Win Win Scenarios
Apex Capital · Greenwich, CT
Create win win win scenarios. The third win is for you, secretly. Must own 14 plus vests and be able to say 'let's grab coffee' with a straight face.
E
Cloud Shaman (DevOps)
Ethereal Systems · Portland, OR, hybrid, 2 days office 3 days forest
Maintain our cluster through ritual and selective resource deletion. Cloud certification preferred, sage bundle mandatory.
P
Senior Synergy Manager
Pivot Dynamics · Remote (until we get an office)
Must be willing to cry in standups. 10 plus years experience saying 'let's circle back' required. Fluency in vague optimism a must.
C
Fractional Personal Branding Officer
Compass Ventures · Somewhere with a ping pong table
Experience herding cats preferred. Experience herding stakeholders required.
C
Junior Hustle Operations Lead
Catalyst Group · Nowhere in particular
Must be willing to say "circle back" unironically at least once a day.
C
Junior Quiet Quitting Prevention Evangelist
Catalyst Group · Nowhere in particular
Fluency in vague optimism required. Fluency in the actual product optional.
A
Global Head of Cold Outreach Consultant
Anchor Systems · Denver, CO
Fluency in vague optimism required. Fluency in the actual product optional. Must own a minimum of 3 fleece vests.
V
Head of Cultural Alignment
Vibe Capital · Brooklyn, NY
Say the word 'aligned' in every meeting regardless of topic. Prior experience aligning things that did not need aligning strongly preferred.
V
Director of Disruption Officer
Velocity Industries · Austin, TX
Should be comfortable presenting slides that contradict last week's slides. Must own a minimum of 3 fleece vests.
I
Head of Cold Outreach Engineer
Ironclad Collective · A Zoom call, permanently
Must be able to explain blockchain, then AI, then whatever comes next, to the same nervous board.
L
Fractional Founder Wellness Manager
Ledger Systems · Remote (until further notice)
Prior experience surviving at least one all hands that should have been an email.
G
Chief Mindset Officer
GrowthMindset.io · Denver, CO
Looking for someone who can say 'growth' 1,200 times in one meeting without breathing. NDA required, mostly to protect us.
H
Junior Hustle Engineer
Hustle Harder Industries · Austin, TX
Code 14,000 lines of grindset, mostly comments. Maintain the coffee machine. 168 hour weeks expected, encouraged, celebrated on the wall.
L
Director of Employee Engagement (During Layoffs)
Layoffs Inc. · Chicago, IL
Deliver difficult news with a smiling emoji. Comic Sans proficiency a plus. Must be able to say 'this is not a reflection of your work' 400 times a quarter.
F
Head of Founder Wellness Officer
Forge Co. · Somewhere with a ping pong table
Experience herding cats preferred. Experience herding stakeholders required. Applicants who have never said "let's take this offline" need not apply.
B
Junior Hustle Operations Manager
Bold Labs · Denver, CO
Must be willing to say "circle back" unironically at least once a day.
M
Founding Cringe Mitigation Lead
Momentum Labs · Denver, CO
Applicants who have never said "let's take this offline" need not apply.
C
Global Head of Synergy Manager
Compass Dynamics · Onsite, in a converted warehouse with no windows
Must be able to explain blockchain, then AI, then whatever comes next, to the same nervous board. Must be willing to say "circle back" unironically at least once a day.