Companies

A finance firm built entirely on fleece vests, expense account lunches, and the phrase 'let's grab coffee.' You're paying. You're always paying.

We send 40,000 messages a month about roles that closed in Q1. Our response rate is 2 percent and our confidence has never once wavered.

We acquire family businesses and unlock value by removing the family. Grandmothers not included in the go forward org chart.

We run weekly vibe checks nobody asked for and report morale increases nobody can measure. Our proprietary Vibe Score has never once correlated with revenue, and we consider that a feature.

We put a chatbot wrapper on our legacy product and called it a pivot. Our burn rate is up 400 percent. Our engineering team has not been asked for input since the pivot, or before it.

We help companies deliver bad news in a friendly font. Six rounds of internal layoffs so far. We remain, ironically, fully staffed in the layoffs department.

A 7 figure business built entirely during a toddler's nap, according to the captions. According to the math, this remains impossible, but the lighting is very good.

We sell a 47 dollar a month PDF of motivational quotes to people who could get the same quotes for free from a coffee mug. Our mission is to monetize inspiration before anyone notices there's nothing behind it.